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You Know You're A Karaoke Junkie If...
Be on the lookout for those Dallas Ft Worth karaoke junkies
You've heard the song "Boondocks" by Little Big Town at least 10 times
You're willing or offer to do a duet with ANYONE!
No one recognizes you without your hat and/or your shades
You can hold a cigarette or a beer bottle with one hand while holding the mic with the other
You're one of the few who's tipped the KJ
Going to a karaoke bar by yourself feels like 2nd nature
Youíve ever burned up a car to get to karaoke
Youíre broke all the time
You clap when a song finishes on the radio
You ever wake up from a sound sleep clapping
Strangers walk up to you in Wal-mart and compliment you on your singing
People you donít know ask, "Arenít you the karaoke dude?"
You get mad when you are skipped in the rotation
Songs on the radio donít sound right because Ernest or Roger arenít singing them
You hear a song on the radio and think, thatís number 7-12
You donít wear "the hat" and nobody knows you
Somebody says, "why donít we leave early?" and the whole crowd gasps(and early is 12:30 am)
You refer to "my list" ten months after youíve sold out
You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical ramifications of "AMERICAN PIE"
You go to a concert and wonder when theyíre gonna call you up to sing
You go to a concert and all the time youíre thinking "I could do that"
You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips
Last call comes and you say "But Iím not through singing yet!"
Youíve ever been taken home passed out in the back of a 69 Cadillac hearse
Youíve ever ripped the door off a bar
You have laryngitis and you still try to sing
Blue drinks turn you into the INCREDIBLE HULK
You know youíve got to get up at 6:30 am and you still close the bar down
Thereís 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on the roads and where are you? THE KARAOKE BAR!
You think "life without the role" are really the words
Someone asks you if you have a slip, and theyíre not talking about underwear!
Someone is writing "WHAT IF" lists during karaoke
You remember the number of over two songs by memory
You know everybodyís first name-and you donít know what their last names are
You know the location of every motel within five miles of the bar.
You donít remember the names of any waitresses before Sharon Peters.
You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50miles of your house.
When youíre not at the karaoke bar by 10:30pm people start calling your house to find out whatís wrong.
You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.
Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.
Someone suggests going dancing instead and youíre appalled.
Your stock reply is "you mean thereís a bowling alley here."
That commercial on TV that makes fun of karaoke really makes you mad.
You see karaoke on TV and you think "Thatís not the way itís done!"
You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."
It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the "regulars" table
You get upset when someone else is sitting in your place
You throw up on somebodyís car---and they understand
You get mad when someone sings "your song"
The songs, "LOVE SHACK", "FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES", and "AMERICAN PIE" really annoy you (unless of course YOU want to sing them)
Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and you know what theyíre talking about
The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or sex
Youíve ever browsed the "net" under the heading "KARAOKE"
Youíve ever called a wrecker to take you and your car to the KARAOKE bar (hey it was contest night O.K.!)
You think itís a compliment when someone dedicates "THE BITCH IS BACK" to you
A new person who sings well is automatically your friend
Your new best friend is somebody who does the same type songs as you
You canít name five presidents,---BUT you know all the members of KISS and the EAGLES
The whole bar yells "OH CRAP" when youíre called to sing
You know the entire intro to "BABYíS GOT BACK"
You start believing your middle name is "lucy" or "louise"
You hear "whatís this fat f---er going to sing?" And youíre determined to sing them under the table
Anyone has ever suggested therapy
Youíve ever received an emergency call at the bar
You think you sound better than the origional
You can still sit still after listening to "LOVE SHACK" 5,000 times
Someone throws up because you sang too much ELTON JOHN
You think you can never sing too much ELTON JOHN
Someone suggests an after hours party and you ask "do you have a karaoke machine?"
You canít remember the words to a song youíve heard all your life without "the screen"
You and three other people have sung "FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES" after the karaoke has closed down
The first thing you think when you hear a new song on the radio is "when is this coming out on karaoke?"
You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk
You buy a karaoke disk for one song---burning 14 other songs
You try to learn 14 songs you donít really like
You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords
You consider alcohol to be "Liquid Courage"
It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye
Your best friend has to hold you up to sing your last song, and you never miss a note (hey it was TWIST OFF night O.K.!)
You canít sing until youíre nice and toasty
The high point of your week is when your favorite KJ gets a new disk
You cant stand up or walk but you never miss a note
You feel cheated if they donít get karaoke started at 9:00 sharp "bar time"
The term kamikaze has nothing to do with japan or planes
Your house guests get to your house 1-1/2 hours before you do
Youíre a woman but youíre still willing to sing the guys part
Youíre a guy but your still willing to sing Barbaraís part in "NO MORE TEARS"
You may be a karaoke junkie if you are planning to go to a new city and the first thing you do is get on the net and find out where they have karaoke!
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